The all beef frank ($3.49) and garlic fries ($2.49)

Spring is upon us, and that means baseball season. Luckily, the Skyline cafeteria has exactly what the classic Bay Area baseball fan needs: hot dogs and garlic fries.

Well, the Skyline cafeteria has half of what the classic fan needs. The garlic fries at the cafeteria are garlic fries in name only. Bay Area residents have grown accustomed to the huge pile of crispy yet fluffy fries covered in olive oil, parsley and chopped garlic that you can smell three rows up on a calm day at AT&T Park. The Skyline cafeteria has a lesser pile of mostly crispy fries that were likely covered in powdered garlic before they were fried, and lack the pungent spiciness of the originals.

The second half of the Skyline baseball banquet equation, the hot dog, is thankfully excellent.

On the spectrum of foods that are almost entirely pointless to pay someone else to prepare, hotdogs rank below the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and only slightly above cereal. The only acceptable reason to pay someone else to cook a hotdog is excessive drinking, or being at a baseball game. Those things, fortunately, overlap frequently, so let’s just pretend that’s what happened here. The Skyline hotdog is actually larger and tastier than most stadium dogs, barring the foot-long. It’s served on a warm, flaky roll, and garnished with actual tomato and lettuce, and a little mustard. This is the perfect base for frankfurter fancification. The only thing that’s missing at the cafeteria is the rotary crank sliced onion and sauerkraut dispenser.

With no further debate needed, the Skyline hot dog gets a well-deserved A+. The garlic fries get a lowly C. If the fries were simply fries, and not leaving themselves open for direct comparison to the true Gilroy greats, they would rate a passable B, but as garlic fries in the land of garlic fries, they just don’t cut the mustard.

When it comes to beverages, the official drink of American summer is obviously Coca-Cola. Serving it in a 32-ounce souvenir cup makes it the perfect pairing with any ballgame fare, but this is Food Grade, and cocktails are on the menu. Keep the 32-ounce fountain drink in a plastic cup with the full season schedule printed on the side, and add another American classic. The souvenir size Jack and Coke is the beverage of choice with this meal, not only because all the ingredients of this meal are American summer traditions, but because sneaking cheap whiskey into a venue to spike your jumbo Coke is another great American summer tradition.

Dinner and drinks: B+

Disclaimer, the writer of this column want to keep themselves anonymous for the sake of keeping the reviews unbiased and fair.