“Star Wars” is one of the greatest movie trilogies of all time. It stands alone in the pantheon of movie history.
     The prequels have slandered the trilogy. They are not worth the association with the original. I cannot believe that George Lucas would put the “Star Wars” name to something so lame.
     After re-watching both of the films, I have realized that there are many things wrong with the new ones. There are some bright spots, but for the most part, they aren’t worthy of the “Star Wars” moniker.
     The prequels are missing out on a lot of the most important things that made the original trilogy so kickass. I love Natalie Portman. I think she’s hot and the midriff scene in the “Attack of the Clones” was definitely money, but c’mon, she doesn’t hold a candle to the memory of Princess Leia in the steel bikini in “Return of the Jedi.”
     There is no Han Solo in the latest two. We don’t need Han himself, but a Solo-esque-type-rebel-without-a-cause would be great.
     Instead we had Jar Jar in the first movie, and he made a slow moving bad film even worse. I couldn’t even understand what he was saying half the time.
     Let’s face it; no one was as pimp as Harrison Ford as the man – Han Solo. If anybody was supposed to be Han, it was me. Hayden Christensen has hit heartthrob status, but I didn’t think he had the emotional depth to be Darth Vader.
     Vader was the man in the original, but this time around he seems like a petulant, stubborn crybaby with a self-esteem problem. The original trilogy revolutionized special effects, and the way people watched movies.
     The prequels are overpriced and lame. This brings me to the one bright spot in all the mess. He was there in the original but this time around he is better. Yoda. Yoda was the man at the end of the last one.
     The lightsaber fight with the old white guy was awesome. The prequels have good effects. The storyline is another issue. I don’t understand what’s going on. For some reason I can’t keep the story straight, and this is coming from the guy that understood the first “Mission: Impossible.”
     All I’m trying to say is the original will always be the best and these prequels are lame. I’m sorry to say, but a boycott needs to happen. Don’t buy the DVD. Don’t rent them.
     If you rent, do it for the sole purpose of watching Natalie Portman running around in a midriff at 1/32 speed. If you want a real movie experience, buy the James Bond Collector’s Edition. That’s the real gift that keeps on giving.