It’s certainly an exciting moment when someone close to you gets engaged; they’re moving on to a brand new chapter in their lives and you want nothing more than to help and be a part of it

So of course, when my cousin asked me to be her bridesmaid last year, I agreed without the slightest bit of hesitation. Now here we are two months away from her wedding and I find myself under a pile of stress and bills while having constant dreams of strangling her.

It’s not that I hate my cousin, I love her to death. I just hate her wedding. I hate how every week I find myself getting a new Venmo charge for something wedding related.

I had no idea what I was getting into when I agreed to be her bridesmaid. Do you have any idea how expensive it is? According to a 2010 survey of 19,000 bridesmaids done by TheKnot.com, the average bridesmaid spends about $1,695.

I personally have already spent well over $2,000 and that doesn’t even include the cost of the bridal shower, which I recently found out is something I have to pay for as well. I’m at the point where I might as well have my paychecks signed over to her.

Not only is it expensive to be a bridesmaid, it’s stressful. Suddenly I find myself trying to balance work, school and personal issues while trying to find time in between to complete my wedding duties.

I’ve spent many nights staying up extremely late just to make sure I get everything done in time. Whether it be helping her wax seal all 200 of her invitations or making 100 paper tassels for her decorations. It’s mainly stressful for me because the last thing I want to do is let her down.

I don’t mean to sound like a bridesmaidzilla (apparently that’s a thing) because I love my cousin and want to help make her big day special. I just wish I knew beforehand how much work being a bridesmaid truly entailed.

At first I thought, “This is so exciting! I’m going to buy a pretty dress, help make a few decorations and get super drunk with everyone at the after party!” But no, being a bridesmaid is a lot more than that. It truly tests the limits of your relationship with the bride and your patience.

Personally, I know I can handle this. I’m just being a dramatic baby at the moment. However, others might find the stress and expenses to be too much. As a result, it could create animosity between yourself and the bride and end up destroying your relationship for good.

Don’t get me wrong, being part of a wedding for someone you love is truly an honor and privilege. As long as you know what you’re getting into financially and what you’re responsible for, you’ll have a great experience.

According to Brides.com, proper bridesmaid etiquette entails that a bridesmaid is responsible for the following expenses: the cost of her dress, the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, a gift for the bride, and your hair and makeup on the day of the wedding.

More importantly, be prepared to set lots of time aside to help your bride with anything she may require of you. Also, have some tissues ready when you start to cry as you witness your bank account slowly but surely deteriorate.