You know what really shakes thing up in the bedroom? Porn. But I don’t mean popping in a DVD or plugging your laptop into your widescreen TV. I’m talking about amateur porn, starring you.

We’re an egotistical, media-obsessed culture. We love to feel like the center of attention and a camera flash brings that side out of us (just look at the invasion of selfies coating the internet nowadays). Being in front of a camera makes us want to show off, inspiring the creation of a persona that we thinks deserves the attention. It builds a kind of empowerment that, when applied to the bedroom correctly and maturely, makes sparks fly.

“Hold up a minute,” you say, “there are a heck of a lot of reasons NOT to record myself naked!” Yes, and it’s important to address all of those reasons before you ever think of dimming the lights and rolling a camera.

One, you might think you’re too ugly, or don’t look “camera ready.” Let’s dismiss that one right now. If the likes of Ron Jeremy or Ginger Lynn are good enough for center stage, you’re good enough. By a landslide.

After coming to terms with how gorgeous you are (gentlemen…), you want to find a co-star. Hopefully you can find one in your current boyfriend/girlfriend. This should be someone you’re pretty committed to, as it’ll better your chances of them taking a chance on you.

This points to the biggest problem for when you want to break out the camera: Leaked nude pictures and revenge videos are definitely a thing. One slip can ruin someone. It’s a natural reaction not to want to put yourself at risk in that way.
There’s an answer to this: Be the kind of person that can be trusted with sensitive material like that. Show your partner that bringing a camera into the room isn’t necessarily about having something on-record for the future, but just to spice things up in the now.

Give your partner control. Allow only them to touch the camera, letting them know they can delete the evidence at any time. If your partner controls what gets filmed, they might be a lot more willing trying it out and maybe even try it again.

As a last resort, just set up an empty camera. Again, introducing the camera is about creating a persona, the sexual star of your own show. This doesn’t necessitate actually recording, just the idea that you’re being recorded. Then both you and your partner can really play it up with no worries since you’re not really being filmed. Eventually, your partner may become comfortable enough to do the real deal.

Making your own amateur porn can add a lot to the bedroom, but only when done right. If the idea intrigues you, or you’d just like to have a reminder for those long nights away from your “bae,” don’t be afraid to toss the idea out there.