Some people say jealousy is an ugly trait. Others say it’s healthy. So when exactly does jealousy become too much?

If you’re in a relationship with someone and you’re wary of an old flame of theirs hanging around, that’s pretty normal. But once you start hindering your significant other’s ability to live his or her own life, that’s when we start to have a problem.

There are no statistics that can portray such an emotion. Rather, each circumstance where this trait is involved should be dealt with in a specific manner.

What I think jealousy really means is that jealous people are actually just unhappy and insecure. The reason they’re so mad about their significant others spending time with targets of this jealousy is because they themselves feel they are lacking in comparison.

It could be a physical trait or emotional quality but either way, you feel they have what you do not. You don’t want your significant other spending time with a person you view as better than you. Of course not. That’s completely understandable.

So what are you going to do about it? Here’s an idea: Stop your significant other from having a completely platonic relationship with someone that you may or may not be friends with as well. That’s the only reasonable solution, right?

Wrong. How would you feel if your significant other, the person you’re apparently supposed to trust the most and be the most comfortable with, told you to stop hanging out with one of your friends? That wouldn’t make you feel too good, would it? Instead you might be a bit annoyed. You might think “oh wow, my significant other won’t let me hang out with the people I want to hang out with.”

After such thoughts come around, only a few different outcomes are likely to occur: Your significant other will seek to please you and drop their friend, awkwardly but certainly. Or you could be the one who gets dropped, as your (possibly former) significant other goes and amicably hangs out with the friend they guiltlessly get to keep. Either way, someone’s getting dumped and therefore getting hurt, which is an obvious negative.

There’s definitely a solution to this problem. If you don’t know the way to fix it, today’s the day to learn it. If your significant other is hanging out with a friend, let’s take a step back and not do anything rash unless the red flags are extremely obvious. Take the time to talk it out and go from there. Jealousy is only increased when there is a lack of communication. Chances are the situation isn’t as bad as you think it is.