So it’s a Friday night, your ex left you a month ago, and you’re looking for some action. Problem is, you’ve never been very good at the whole picking up “chicks” thing. But you’re horny. So what do you do?

The number one answer seems to be, “go out there and be confident!” Let me just walk on over to the bar, order me a tall glass of liquid courage, fill up the ol’ confidence-o-meter, and get to it!

Yeah. Doesn’t work like that, does it? So what does it really mean to be confident?

Confidence is knowing what can happen next. So how do you do that?

First things first: Know yourself. This is the easiest part. Know who, and what, you like. Flirting comes next, and all flirting really involves is finding common ground. But whatever your ground is, keep it light. Stay away from passions, like your 150 thousand Magic cards.

After you’ve done your soul searching, procure at least one reliable method of transportation that is not a parent or guardian. If you have a car, awesome, but have a back-up plan, like a friend you can call at 2 a.m. who won’t mind a plus one. You don’t want to have a girl give the go-ahead only to have no transportation

Next step: location. You’ll want a social setting where people naturally want to go and interact. Sadly for the under 21 crowd, these places usually revolve around booze. Think outside the box. The Academy of Science’s Night Life, for example.

But just as important as the location is what’s around the location. Know at least two inexpensive places to eat within walking distance. When flirting stops carrying itself, getting out and changing your setting will only help your cause.

Next: Know what to look for. Women don’t necessarily go out on their own, so let’s break that illusion right now. Look for groups of three or less. See if one breaks away from the group. That could mean going up to the bar alone to order drinks or spending more time scanning the scene than engaging in conversation. Don’t assume she’s available if she’s “looking around” as she might be waiting on someone. No matter what, though, be comfortable. Remember, you miss all of the shots you don’t take. Ask her about herself. If she starts giving you sentence-long responses, you’re perfect.

Remember to bring protection. Even if you aren’t necessarily looking to score, have a condom with you when you head out. You don’t want to get denied right when you’re at the gates. Don’t rely on her to supply protection. More than self-sufficiency, this is self-preservation. This is a guide to sex with a stranger, not sex with your future baby momma.