We’ve all heard the old adage “nice guys finish last,” but while the statement can be said about nice men and women alike, it is truer to say “nice people don’t get to the starting line.”

The world of dating is marred by countless phrases and anecdotes pertaining to the personality of men and women and how a positive outlook and gentle manner are directly related to the type of husband or wife said individual is blessed with.

“You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.” One of the numerous quotes that make the rounds in regards to attitudes and the social world of dating. It is a bit antiquated and, in all honesty, foolish to think that simply being a nice person is going to get you the man or woman that you want. It’s better to be true to yourself than put on a friendly face and see who takes an interest.

People always make the assumption that they know what other people want to hear. Men make the judgement that women want to hear about how “caring” they are and see their “sensitive” sides. If this was the case than how is it, exactly, that “bad boys” have remained a desirable conquest for some?

Trying to asses what anyone wants, regardless if it be a man or a woman, is a waste of time. While you’re busy trying to put on a front in the vain hopes of finding a partner who is concerned only with how “nice” you are, there are others out there remaining true to themselves who don’t put stock in old quotes and proverbs. It’s a waste of time to sit back and try to be something that you’re not.

Everyone has heard stories about the nice guy or the sweet girl who did everything for a significant other, only to be cast aside the moment something/someone “better” came along to satiate the needs of some horrid boyfriend or girlfriend. By now it’s a cautionary tale that is chalked up to a “growing pain,” a necessary evil that we all must go through while we grow up.

Instead of sitting back and playing at being a saint or a sweetheart, be yourself. If people don’t like you for who you are than it’s their loss and not yours. Is it better to sit back and play at being something you’re not, in order to keep someone who cannot, or will not, love you for who you are?

Next time you’re at a bar or a club, trying to make that “connection” we’re all searching for, be yourself. If it works than it works, if it doesn’t than it doesn’t. Easier said than done, of course, but at least you’ll be rejected for being yourself and not someone else’s idea of “perfection.” It’s a waste of time to be anything other than who you are.