First things first: I’ve never had a threesome. It takes a certain kind of person to be okay with group sex, and I’ve never had the pleasure of dating one of those people.

Which is completely okay! Kind of a bummer, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to keep your attentions focused to one person.

But, why not try it?

It points back to what I said earlier: it takes a certain kind of person. You have to be one of three kinds of person to consider, if not actually have, a threesome.

The first kind is a person who is very sexually comfortable and confident. For you, sex is just a thing to do. Yes it’s an intimate act, but not a cornerstone to make or break relationships over. You have sex for the fun, for the experience, and not necessarily for the private connection that has been exemplified by many an institution. You don’t devalue sex, but it isn’t the holy grail, which is why trying something a little different doesn’t take as much consideration for you as it might for someone else.

The next is usually one-half of a couple and curious about trying something different. That kind of person, that kind of intimacy in an established relationship, requires trust, a lot of it. I’m talking “Yeah, go ahead and test drive my brand-new motorcycle” kind of trust. A lot can go wrong, but you know it won’t. You know it won’t. You know there’s a lot more to your relationship than the mushing together of your genitals, so the worst that would happen by adding another set is someone leaves blue-balled. If you’re afraid that person might be you, that’s a sign to rethink what you’re doing. If there’s even a glint of mistrust or miscommunication, group sex will come back to bite you.

The third person is usually inebriated and neither of the above. If you can consider yourself one of these people, you probably shouldn’t be making sexual decisions.

And if you’re someone looking for that third kind of person, you’re pathetic. Stop being desperate, find your dignity, and maybe then you can think about sex with one other person.

Also, I should say one more thing: guys, if you aren’t open to a threesome inviting in either gender, you’re being selfish and probably don’t deserve what you imagine you want. The secret word of the say here is “trust”, and if you can’t trust your woman with another man, why should they trust you with another woman?

Besides, you might actually learn something. And if she liked it from another man, imagine how crazy she’d go if she got it from you.